As instructed by Mistress I focus all my attention on my wife over the weekend for the 2nd weekend in a row. I am sure she is curious as to why there has been this sudden shift but she has not really asked why and is enjoying the benefits. On Saturday I did all the housework, including the bathrooms and a round of ironing, we went out to see friends in the afternoon and i ensured that i bought all the food and drinks and fetched and carried so she could just chill and chat with our friends. We had a quiet night watching TV and i offered to give her a foot massage which she happily accepted. This then led further into some light foreplay and kissing. I concentrated on ensuring i was pleasing my wife 1st and not thinking about the need for my pleasure. We headed upstairs where there was some more foreplay with her vibrator before we made love. Later before bed i offered to clean her vibrator and as instructed during my session with Mistress Susan i cleaned the vibrator with my tongue.
I then asked my wife if it was ok for me to stay up and watch match of the day, she said she was happy for me to do that as she could then chill out with the bed to herself.
However instead of watching match of the day i took the decision to complete Mistress Susan’s task which i was given for not listening properly, i was to make up my face three times and take a picture after each time to practice my makeup skills. Earlier in the day i had managed to borrow my wife’s eye shadow as one of the stipulations was to use three different eye shadows as proof i had done my makeup three times.
I did manage to do my makeup three times but i need a lot more practice, also i was petrified that my wife could have come down at any moment and caught me in the act. After completing and cleaning my face i then headed to bed.
On Sunday we had a day out where we had fun driving 4x4, this had been a birthday present from my wife but when we arrived i offered to let her do 50% of the driving experience, she was ecstatic and we both loved every moment. Once home the rest of Sunday i made sure i made her cups of tea, organised and tided up after dinner and made sure she had a calm and relaxing evening
Mistress Susan has also given me a couple of updates to my eding task which i must start adding in from tonight ( i must purchase a couple of things 1st) and i now await some tasks which she is planning for me to complete during my holiday week
Monday 31 October 2011
Friday 28 October 2011
Friday-
Another day has passed under the control of my Mistress, Friday is quite a diificult day as i have a standing instruction from my mistress that over Saturday and Sunday I must focus my full attention and efforts towards my wife, to treat her as i would treat my mistress, to let her want for nothing, give her the control without her knowing it. the 1st weekend i was set this task i failed and looked at my Mistresses webpage and i was punished for this. This is now the second weekend approaching and i am determined not to fail my mistress again. So This blog will not be updated again until monday unless directly instructed by my Mistress.
I have continued today with the standing instructions from my mistress while await new tasks, the edges at work again were difficult to fit, being my last day before a week off, work was understandibly very bust but i was determined not to let down my Mistress. Between breaks and lunchtime, i was able to complete my 40 edges, everyday i acheieve this a great sense of happiness that i will be pleasing my mistress but also one of deep frustration a further deeper fall into submissiveness, hoping that my mistress will allow me to cum soon.
Since 1st being instructed by my mistress to shave my pubic area, i have now twice reshaved to my myslef clean shaven for to reasons, the 1st was a subconcsious decison that my mistress instructed me orginally to shave and i assume that i must keep clean shaven and the 2nd more practical reason is as it starts to grow back in it is quite uncomfortable.
As i write this there is a vidoe of gay porn of two young men making out and playing with themselves, as i complete my 20edges at home. i don't know how long i will be doing thsi for but these images are starting to filter deep into my head that i am sure i am starting to have dreams, this may be because of the edging and my brain is starting to link the two who knows
sissy davina signing off until monday
I have continued today with the standing instructions from my mistress while await new tasks, the edges at work again were difficult to fit, being my last day before a week off, work was understandibly very bust but i was determined not to let down my Mistress. Between breaks and lunchtime, i was able to complete my 40 edges, everyday i acheieve this a great sense of happiness that i will be pleasing my mistress but also one of deep frustration a further deeper fall into submissiveness, hoping that my mistress will allow me to cum soon.
Since 1st being instructed by my mistress to shave my pubic area, i have now twice reshaved to my myslef clean shaven for to reasons, the 1st was a subconcsious decison that my mistress instructed me orginally to shave and i assume that i must keep clean shaven and the 2nd more practical reason is as it starts to grow back in it is quite uncomfortable.
As i write this there is a vidoe of gay porn of two young men making out and playing with themselves, as i complete my 20edges at home. i don't know how long i will be doing thsi for but these images are starting to filter deep into my head that i am sure i am starting to have dreams, this may be because of the edging and my brain is starting to link the two who knows
sissy davina signing off until monday
Thursday 27 October 2011
The next day
Waking up the day after my 1st session with Mistress Susan was a little bit a of shock, knowing that it was back to the daily routine of work. I was however remembering that i had been instructed to change my routine of edges. As i had confessed to Mistress Sean that i found edging at work more humiliating she had decided to increase the number of edges performed at work to 40 and reduce those performed at home to 20.
So with trepidation today i headed off to work trying to figure out how i was to achieve this. I arrived at work early and changed into my white panties. As i was the 1st person in i took the opportunity to complete around 20 edges before my fist colleagues arrived at work, by this point i was struggling, the memories of the previous day were flooding back, the feeling of frustration was palpable. I stopped and head through to the office, very aware i was rock hard and to me seemed very obvious. Later in the day between meetings i managed to complete another 10 edges and had to wait until just before home time before i could complete my last ten. At the end i had a great feeling of accomplishment that was able to please my Mistress but also one of deep frustration that another day of no cumming is passing but knowing that deep inside i need to give this control up to satisfy a basic need of submission.
I have also several routine set tasks that are now part of my routine, sitting to pee, sitting cross legged, using female shower gel/roll on deodorant, using lip balm and keeping it topped up and wearing female panties at work.
Once home i helped tidy up the house and made tea before having a quiet night doing uni study. After my wife went to bed i completed my20 edges which i completed while watching gay porn as instructed, i am finding more and more that this bothers me much less and is starting to fascinate me, looking at those cocks.
i am looking forward to receiving my next set of tasks from Mistress Susan to further stretch me and help me identify my limits and understand myself more
sissy davina
So with trepidation today i headed off to work trying to figure out how i was to achieve this. I arrived at work early and changed into my white panties. As i was the 1st person in i took the opportunity to complete around 20 edges before my fist colleagues arrived at work, by this point i was struggling, the memories of the previous day were flooding back, the feeling of frustration was palpable. I stopped and head through to the office, very aware i was rock hard and to me seemed very obvious. Later in the day between meetings i managed to complete another 10 edges and had to wait until just before home time before i could complete my last ten. At the end i had a great feeling of accomplishment that was able to please my Mistress but also one of deep frustration that another day of no cumming is passing but knowing that deep inside i need to give this control up to satisfy a basic need of submission.
I have also several routine set tasks that are now part of my routine, sitting to pee, sitting cross legged, using female shower gel/roll on deodorant, using lip balm and keeping it topped up and wearing female panties at work.
Once home i helped tidy up the house and made tea before having a quiet night doing uni study. After my wife went to bed i completed my20 edges which i completed while watching gay porn as instructed, i am finding more and more that this bothers me much less and is starting to fascinate me, looking at those cocks.
i am looking forward to receiving my next set of tasks from Mistress Susan to further stretch me and help me identify my limits and understand myself more
sissy davina
Wednesday 26 October 2011
My story to date
I have just completed my 1st real life session with Mistress Susan, i was instructed to start this blog and explain my story to date and use this blog to help document and explain my journey of discovery.
I have known for some time that i was submissive, i am married but i have never been able to discuss my submissiveness with my wife and my deep inner needs. I have tried previously to find an online Mistress without sucess and have only ever once before served in real life ( however with the mistress being abroad, it was only ever going to be a one off)
Then on collarme I discovered Mistress Susan and i approached her on the the 9th October to ask if i could serve her through email domination. She took a lot of care to discover more about me before commiting to take me on as an email submisisve. Over a period of two weeks several tasks were set to draw me under her control, starting with keeping me frustrated through performing edging twice a day and purchasing of panties. I was also to start changing my behaviour including sitting to pee, sitting cross legged,etc. Over the 1st couple of days i struggled but was determined to please my new Mistress, i completed a couple of writing tasks so that my Mistress could learn more about me and my cirrcumstances. I then was instructed to shave my pubic area as all mistresses slaves were clean shaven, i completed this task although difficult with my circumstances i did achieve it.
By this point i was within my mistresses web and took the decision to approach Mistress Susan for a real life session to which she agreed. She then set me tasks to appropriate matching bra/panties , a dress, shoes, makeup and a wig for the session. i won't go into a lot of detail but lets just say it was a challenge but by the time the session came round i had managed to purchase all the items with some humiliation along the way.
The weekend before my session Mistress Susan set me a task to focus on my wife and serve her every need andfocus all my energies on her. On the saturday i disappointed my mistress by looking at her collarme page for which she rubuked me and reminded me of her instruction which helped focus my mind for the rest of the weekend.
The day of the real life session dawned today and after a 3 hour drive ( and a little getting lost due to a miss typed postcode) i arrived at what i now feel was a day of destiny. i am not going to go into detail about the session but more what i learnt today about myself and who i am.
I have learnt that the thoughts and feelings of submission are not something to be ashamed of, the trust that has already built between Mistress Susan and myself allowed me to explore a new area of mylife which i now realise was always there but was buried deeply.
I have only given a little flavour of how i came to my real life session with Mistress Susan but my focus is on what happens next.
The need to submit, the enjoyment i got from bondage and cbt, the giving up of control, the forced feminsation and all the feelings that bubbled up during the sesssion i have learnt are all part of what makes me who i am.
Now that i have accepted who i am, i will use this blog to update you on tasks that Mistress Susan sets to help me develop, the feelings these generate and what i learn about myself through these.
sissy davina
I have known for some time that i was submissive, i am married but i have never been able to discuss my submissiveness with my wife and my deep inner needs. I have tried previously to find an online Mistress without sucess and have only ever once before served in real life ( however with the mistress being abroad, it was only ever going to be a one off)
Then on collarme I discovered Mistress Susan and i approached her on the the 9th October to ask if i could serve her through email domination. She took a lot of care to discover more about me before commiting to take me on as an email submisisve. Over a period of two weeks several tasks were set to draw me under her control, starting with keeping me frustrated through performing edging twice a day and purchasing of panties. I was also to start changing my behaviour including sitting to pee, sitting cross legged,etc. Over the 1st couple of days i struggled but was determined to please my new Mistress, i completed a couple of writing tasks so that my Mistress could learn more about me and my cirrcumstances. I then was instructed to shave my pubic area as all mistresses slaves were clean shaven, i completed this task although difficult with my circumstances i did achieve it.
By this point i was within my mistresses web and took the decision to approach Mistress Susan for a real life session to which she agreed. She then set me tasks to appropriate matching bra/panties , a dress, shoes, makeup and a wig for the session. i won't go into a lot of detail but lets just say it was a challenge but by the time the session came round i had managed to purchase all the items with some humiliation along the way.
The weekend before my session Mistress Susan set me a task to focus on my wife and serve her every need andfocus all my energies on her. On the saturday i disappointed my mistress by looking at her collarme page for which she rubuked me and reminded me of her instruction which helped focus my mind for the rest of the weekend.
The day of the real life session dawned today and after a 3 hour drive ( and a little getting lost due to a miss typed postcode) i arrived at what i now feel was a day of destiny. i am not going to go into detail about the session but more what i learnt today about myself and who i am.
I have learnt that the thoughts and feelings of submission are not something to be ashamed of, the trust that has already built between Mistress Susan and myself allowed me to explore a new area of mylife which i now realise was always there but was buried deeply.
I have only given a little flavour of how i came to my real life session with Mistress Susan but my focus is on what happens next.
The need to submit, the enjoyment i got from bondage and cbt, the giving up of control, the forced feminsation and all the feelings that bubbled up during the sesssion i have learnt are all part of what makes me who i am.
Now that i have accepted who i am, i will use this blog to update you on tasks that Mistress Susan sets to help me develop, the feelings these generate and what i learn about myself through these.
sissy davina
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