My story to date

I have just completed my 1st real life session with Mistress Susan, i was instructed to start this blog and explain my story to date and use this blog to help document and explain my journey of discovery.

I have known for some time that i was submissive, i am married but i have never been able to discuss my submissiveness with my wife and my deep inner needs. I have tried previously to find an online Mistress without sucess and have only ever once before served in real life ( however with the mistress being abroad, it was only ever going to be a one off)

Then on collarme I discovered Mistress Susan and i approached her on the the 9th October to ask if i could serve her through email domination.  She took a lot of care to discover more about me before commiting to take me on as an email submisisve. Over  a period of two weeks several tasks were set to draw me under her control, starting with keeping me frustrated through performing edging twice a day and purchasing of panties. I was also to start changing my behaviour including sitting to pee, sitting cross legged,etc. Over the 1st couple of days i struggled but was determined to please my new Mistress, i completed a couple of writing tasks so that my Mistress could learn more about me and my cirrcumstances.  I then was instructed to shave my pubic area as all mistresses slaves were clean shaven, i completed this task although difficult with my circumstances i did achieve it.

By this point  i was within my mistresses web and took the decision to approach Mistress Susan for a real life session to which she agreed. She then set me tasks to appropriate  matching bra/panties , a dress, shoes, makeup and a wig for the session. i won't go into a lot of detail but lets just say it was a challenge but by the time the session came round i had managed to purchase all the items with some humiliation along the way.

The weekend before my session Mistress Susan set me a task to focus on my wife and serve her every need andfocus all my energies on her. On the saturday i disappointed my mistress by looking at her collarme page for which she rubuked me and reminded me of her instruction which helped focus my mind for the rest of the weekend.

The day of the real life session dawned today and after a 3 hour drive ( and a little getting lost due to a miss typed postcode) i arrived at what i now feel was a day of destiny. i am not going to go into detail about the session but more what i learnt today about myself and who i am.

I have learnt that the thoughts and feelings of submission are not something to be ashamed of, the trust that has already built between Mistress Susan and myself allowed me to explore a new area of mylife which i now realise was always there but was buried deeply.  

I have only given a little flavour of how i came to my real life session with Mistress Susan but my focus is on what happens next.

The need to submit, the enjoyment i got from bondage and cbt, the giving up of control, the forced feminsation and all the feelings that bubbled up during the sesssion i have learnt are all part of what makes me who i am.

Now that i have accepted who i am, i will use this blog to update you on tasks that Mistress Susan sets to help me develop, the feelings these generate and what i learn about myself through these.

sissy davina